Many couples complain about not feeling “cared for” or “valued” in their relationship. This can often be caused by a lack of compassion for one another. And can lead to feeling like you are in a loveless marriage. Compassion is defined as understanding of another’s pain and the desire to somehow mitigate that pain. You and your spouse may hold onto several dysfunctional beliefs about each other that block out compassion between you. Here are two issues that often cause people to withdraw in their relationship.
Do you expect or rely on your spouse too much? Depending on someone else to fulfill all your needs or making them solely responsible for your happiness will set you both up to fail. This is an example of an unrealistic expectation. If your spouse feels pressured to be your everything they can begin to shut down. Make sure you evaluate yourself, your spouse and your relationship based on achievable beliefs.
Are you harboring resentment toward your spouse? Resentment forms when you fail to resolve conflicts. This will prevent you from validating and comforting them when they are in need. You must learn to communicate your hurt and ask for what you need. As a couple you must learn how to successfully confront, express, and compromise in a way that leads to solutions. Solutions inspire change and prevent the need to argue about the same issues.
If you feel like you are in a loveless marriage, marriage counseling can be a game changer for your relationship. Participating in couples therapy can teach you and your spouse additional skills so that you feel stronger levels of love for one another.